East

Depression has a beautiful way of bleeding out one’s satisfaction with mere existence.  Nothing seems “right.”  Nothing appears to have purpose… Ah, purpose.

Purpose, purpose, purpose…

If there exists no true purpose, then one exists without reason…  No reason, no why…  No why…  Hmmmm.

If one knows why (or more appropriately, Who), then one is not forced to live on vaporous “happy” situations for one’s well being.  The joy of knowing is enough–is more–is all.

Can one accept being wrought by the hand of a mighty Creator?

I can…  I need to.

Can one accept the love of such a master craftsman;  A God that passionately knitted one into existence, all the while burning with anticipation to give one everything one could righteously desire?

I want to accept His love, but I’m not right… I’m wrong.  I live wrong.  I think wrong.  I desire wrong things.  I’m selfish and despicable.  Why would I want what I don’t deserve?

Can one accept the determination of a Father;  A Creator that took off one’s shoes, lived in them, showed one how to walk in them, was torn for doing so and ripped one from the clutches of one’s own self-inflicted doom.

How can I not reach for Him?  I am not whole without Him.  I am in awe of His majesty, His power, His authority, His shear being overshadowing me.  I’m left with nothing to offer, to barter, to argue, to keep.  I can only give back to Him the life he purchased with His own…  Jesus.  I am not my own.  I have been bought for a price.  Your life for mine, for you.  YES!  Thank you!!  Thank you for creating me in your likeness, living in my likeness and destroying all that keeps me from my eternal home with you.

Oh, my purpose…  To know Him as I’m fully known and to tell the world that there is no name under heaven by which we must be saved other than Jesus Christ.

~ by aquitard on February 24, 2006.